Lightblind

I was out on an evening walk recently and this beautiful sunset reminded me of friends whose light left us too early. Those who couldn’t take any more suffering. People who I wish I could have talked to before they let the darkness win. I don’t know if it would have helped. I’m not a mental health professional. But I sure would have tried.

I’m also reminded of a good friend who told me he was going to kill himself one day several years back. Things had been going really bad for a while. He had no girlfriend or prospects of one. Believed he wouldn’t ever have a wife or family and that was really important to him. Thought he would never get a better job and hated his work.

He said I was his only friend, the only person in the world who cared about him, so he at least felt like he should tell me before he was gone. Only one problem with this plan: I knew his potential. I knew about his light. There is a reason we were friends.

He had a plan. He was all set up. He told me what he was going to do and really wanted me to let him just do it. I told him no and we got him mental health help. And it sucked for a while. He got meds and things felt all around worse for a bit. I mean for a few months he would say “why didn’t you just let me do it man”.

You know what though? He’s married today. To an incredible partner. He has a job that he loves. He’s doing important work that really helps others. And he’s awesome at it. We don’t live near each other anymore but he calls me often to tell me about how things are going. I’m so happy for him. Definitely love that guy. He’s so thankful that I stopped him. Because his life is beautiful, just like this sunset. I knew it. He just couldn’t see it back then.

I know life can be so difficult. I know it isn’t fair. I know you might be fighting alone. I know you feel misunderstood and it seems hopeless that anyone will ever really know or love you. I know some of you think of disappearing into the darkness. Please don’t. We need you. The world needs your light.

It is those who come closest to darkness who have the greatest capacity for light. The darker things seem, the more we need you.

Remind those you love about their light. They may be a little “lightblind” by life right now. Many suffer in silence. Your words might be the difference between life and death.

And if you can’t see your own light…

Talk to someone.
Don’t suffer alone.
The stakes are too high.
Call or text 988 in the USA for help.
Other countries have free resources too.

And if you don’t have anyone to call a friend, my messages are always open. I’ll call you a friend.